Quick and quiet – a guide to secret weddings

Secret weddings: Hold your water

Some couples choose to keep their nuptials a secret their whole lives, with some even taking it to the very last minute to tell family members for the reasons of writing a will and passing on responsibility. This does depend on your own personal family situation; whether or not you are close with family members or not. Deciding to keep your marriage a secret is a big commitment as it is not the sort of thing that can slip out and not have big consequences or provoke reaction. So you need to discuss this thoroughly with your partner first – to keep it a secret or not?

Secret weddings: Think of others

The thought of getting wed in secret and then landing the bombshell on your friends and family may be exciting to some, but it is important that you think of others’ feelings. Some secret weddings involve one or two close friends or siblings as witnesses, so you must accept those not involved feeling left out. Or, if you decide to go it totally alone, then you may face a lifetime of answering questions and justifying your decision to those who were not present on the biggest day of your life.

Secret weddings: Your own way

If the reason you want to marry in secret is because you want things your own way, minus others’ input, then maybe try speaking to your family first. It might be that they’re willing to leave you to it. Unless you have other life experiences to base this judgement on, then don’t let this be the sole reason for going it alone.

Secret weddings: Denial

If you plan on having one of the biggest days of your lives in secret you must be prepared to live with the consequences. A parent finding out their daughter or son has left them out of such an occasion may create bitterness or even unravel truths explaining the reasons they weren’t involved. You could end up with hurt relatives who may never forgive you! Yes, marriage is about two people coming together, but surely your family has been there throughout the journey of your relationship too?

Secret weddings: After party

It may be that you want the ceremony itself to be solely focused on the two of you sharing vows in a private and love-filled moment. In this case, perhaps still give your loved ones a chance to celebrate your marriage and host a party a week or so after you marry. Best of both worlds, you might say. You could also hire a photographer to take photos or a video of the ceremony to share with loved ones afterwards.

Secret weddings: Laws

Before you just decide to run off and tie the knot, there are certain laws to abide by which determine the validity of your marriage. If you plan on travelling abroad to get wed make sure that as non-residents you can still get a marriage licence. Even for a marriage in your home country there is still a requirement of certain documents or procedures to be in place before marriage can take place. Don’t get caught out by being caught up!