The groom’s perspective of his wedding day

Does the groom have wedding doubts?

Everyone has doubts, but particularly men. It doesn’t matter how in love your man is with you, he’ll have all sorts going through his head. While you as a woman will see the wedding dress, the beautiful wedding and the happy ever after, you man’s thoughts may turn to mortgage, kids and financial commitment as well as an emotional one. He may even be thinking ‘am I too young?’ ‘What would marriage bring us as a couple that we don’t already have?’ ‘Will marriage change us?’ These are all natural thoughts but are usually overcome by his feelings for you.

Is the groom nervous about the wedding?

For sure the groom is going to be nervous. He may even have had a little bit of Dutch courage to calm the nerves, so don’t get all oversensitive should he turn up smelling slightly of alcohol – this doesn’t mean he’s sloshed or he has to be drunk in order to marry you! Forgive him, if he seems slightly more awkward, a little tongue-tied or ‘not his usual self’ – that is understandable giving the major commitment he is just about to make (and in front of all those people).

Is the groom suffering from wedding fatigue?

It’s been months, maybe even years in planning and while it may be the fairytale day for you, the groom himself may be suffering from wedding fatigue. He’s had to listen to you endlessly going on about it (usually giving in to you demands) so by the time the big day comes around he may just be sick to the back teeth of it all. If just one more auntie adjusts his tie, he might just be ready to explode, so bear this in mind.

"How do I look?"

You may not think it, but the groom does care about what he looks like. Not the likes of ‘does my bum look big in this?’ but more likely to be; ‘do I look like a penguin/playboy/pimp (delete as appropriate) in this suit?’ He knows that you are going to look stunning and he wants you to think that he does too. All the time he’ll be thinking was this outfit a good choice and will you be impressed by the new haircut.

"Have I remembered everything?"

While a trusty best man should take the strain out of the day by acting as personal assistant to the groom and making sure he doesn’t forget a thing, the groom will still have plenty of things to remember. To him, the wedding is for you and he wants to make sure everything is perfect so that you have the day that you have always dreamed of.

"Will she arrive on time/at all?!"

Your man will have his doubts too about whether you’ll actually turn up or whether you’ll leave him standing. He’s probably had several dreams/nightmares about such an eventuality in the run up to the wedding. Being fashionably late does no help for his nerves and no man likes to think, even momentarily, that he’s been stood up. And if he’s getting pressure from the registrar/officiate that time is running out he’ll be so worked up that he won’t be in the right frame of mind when you eventually arrive.

"Will I mess up my wedding vows?"

No matter how many times he’s practiced his vows he will still be worried about getting them wrong. While you should not have worry about him substituting your name for an ex girlfriend (surely that only happens in the movies?), stumbling over your vows will be as much a concern for you as it is for him, so be patient. He’s probably also concerned that he may get a fit of giggles at the wrong moment which would take away from the sincerity of the moment.

The reception – time to let loose?

For the groom, the wedding ceremony is the official, formal part of the wedding day so anything after that is all about fun, fun, fun, right? Well, the groom may see his arrival at the reception as an opportunity to down a few glasses of bubbly. The bride on the other hand will be wanting him to remain relatively sober so that he can take in an remember everything of the big day, and with speeches still to come you won’t want him slurring over his words as he tells you how beautiful you are? And then there’s that first dance.

How much is all this costing?

It’s likely that the groom has given you everything that you could have possibly wanted for your wedding and for this reason he will be in your good books. You’ll likely take a romanticised view and think it’s all worthwhile, while he’ll think more practically and be considering that this could be paying off a sizeable chunk of your mortgage instead. Luckily, if your parents have stumped up the bulk of the wedding costs you’ll be more content knowing your groom’s mind is on the wedding and not financial matters.

What’s the score?

Yep, if you’ve made the big mistake, as so many do, of picking your wedding date so that it clashes with a major sporting event, then it’s possible that your groom’s mind will be on the game and not the wedding. Avoid this scenario by checking the calendar for potential clashes way before you set your date. It’s not unheard of for some weddings to provide a big screen for guest to watch an important game, so don’t get upset if this idea is presented.